SUJATHA KATHALU - The New Mother

Translated from Telugu by Dr. Haribandi Lakshmi, EFL University

”Chinnatalli…. Come here… Do you want a new mother or this old mother?”

Chinnatalli looked up at her mother who was serving her idlies.

We don’t know what she witnessed in the large eyes of her mother which were like waterpools, she said moving her eyes to the right and the left “I want the old mother”.

Rao laughed aloud.

“Okay, sanctioned. Your daughter has voted for you dear. Your job is permanent”.

Janaki laughed. The house was full of laughter. Chinnatalli, waving her umbrella frock, was walking with slow steps….. There was a mild happy smile on the lips of Amrutam who was in the kitchen arranging the pots and pans on the shelf….. Janaki stopped laughing abruptly as though it was cut by some one.

Muttering “I will get milk for the baby” Janaki went into the kitchen. There she had four walls, which were her own. Rao never seemed to have entered that room. He would at the most come up to the door and ask, “Jani! Can you give me a cup of coffee?” Once in there Janaki could breathe again. When she looked at the pots and pans, the tins, the sugar bowl, the spoons, the water boiling on the stove, as though she regained her energy, she started tidying them away. Though her hands were working her mind was still thinking.
Why did she not condemn it? Where does her weakness lie? Though it was said for fun she had a feeling that some delicate bond somewhere was getting severed. She didn’t know from where she got the patience to stand such things. As usual she opened the upper cupboard and brought down the file. It was a file that contained all bills and papers related to the house management. On top of them there was Janaki’s certificate of M.A. Home Science (Catering Technology) with gold letters. She touched it lovingly. ‘Janaki!’…..There was a call from the dining hall.

“Coming!”

It was quite a surprise to Janaaki how she could regain her usual temper when she went to the hall, carrying the tray with milk to the child.

After half-an-hour the house was silent. A cycle-rickshaw from the cretche had come to pick up the child. And for Rao, a car from his office had come. While leaving for office Rao assigned many duties to her. She should chi-chat with Gita Mukherjee for half-an-hour. She should invite her home to dinner as he needs her help. The intention was to make friends with her so that Rao would easily get the deposits from her company. If Raman called up she should try to get ride of him politely. He was of no use at all. He was only a gossip. There was a small function at Rao’s M.D's place. Since Janaki's taste was good she should get a gift for them which would be cheap and the best. These were the usual things that Janaki did everyday.

Amrutam kept the house spick and span always.

“Do you want a new mother or the old mother?”

“My typist is mad after me”….

“No use dear. You are getting old. I have to look for another woman”.

“Jani doesn’t have any company….. She is not able to stay alone whenever I go on a tour. Immediately I have to look for a girl.”

These were the sort of jokes that Rao would crack among his fiends or in the bedroom or drawing room. Janaki had been listening to such jokes, which would determine the status of a woman. She was deeply hurt by them.

“Your job is permanent”….

How does she take it? Does she take it lightly or seriously? If it were like an employment how nice it would have been! Unfortunately it was not. She didn’t know why she decided not to work. Her father hurried her up. When he got acquainted with Rao he was overjoyed. He thought that Rao was very intelligent and was capable of climbing up the social ladder rapidly. He was proved right. But when she helped him by copying notes, making tea, serving him dutifully and keeping everything at home to suit his convenience, he got the post of the officer. And she, in turn, with his kindness, got the life of a housewife with every comfort. Rao gets a car from his office. Many executives come to meet him. A large office is under his control. For doing all this he gets money. It would be fair to say that he earns with both hands. What about her? She has an entry in neither his personal life nor money. Everything – money, house, her life – is under his control. If she wants to go shopping, she has to ask him the previous night with all her love. Rao has to be satisfied. Until Rao asks her caressing her hair, ‘Do you want to go for shopping tomorrow Jani?’ The drama has to continue. In case she needs money for anything else she has to inform him and only when he feels that it is a good cause she gets the money. With one sentence like ‘why, it’s a waste Jani’ all her rehearsal goes a waste. She gets permission to buy anything until it helps her to keep up with the officer status of Rao.

Is she not an employee in this house? Doesn’t she deserve wages for all the donkey’s work that she does? Is it not possible for her to think and take decisions independently like Rao does?
She too has friends. She too speaks to them, but not in the same fashion as Rao does.
Rao orders them.

“O.K. Fix it for tomorrow. Let there be ganabajana (live music) all night. Send for Ravi. Unless we listen to his songs we will not get any pleasure. By the way, catch hold of that fellow, Sharma. Without his jokes it cann’t be a party….”.

She too tells her friends - “Tomorrow? I will let you know in the evening. When Rao comes home, you know…… No, no, I think I can come tomorrow……there is no specific work as such….. I will just inform Rao and …… that’t not a problem ….. Amrutam will pack his lunch ….. After informing Rao……”.

Rao need not control her particularly. Her thoughts of him always control her.

Sometimes she feels that there is hardly any difference between Amrutam and herself. Amrutam and she share the household work. But she needs her permission to eat even a mouthful of rice. If Amrutam wants to give a fruit to her three-year-old son she has to be at her mercy. It is just like the way she pleases Rao to get her things done, Amrutam too pleases her by serving her, by ironing her sarees and by tidying the house much more neatly.

Janaki walked up and down restlessly. In a way Amrutam’s plight is better than hers. When she gets her salary she attends to a few personal matters. She has her own tiny plan as far as her hut is concerned. But in her case, she doesn’t have the power….can she say that ….Okay, she can say that she doesn’t have that possibility. She only nods her head in agreement whatever Rao says.

The phone was ringing. Amrutam picked it up…..”Okay sir. I will fry eggs sir ….. Yes sir…. No sir, it is an hour’s job …. Sir….. It is all right sir …… I can do it. Madam is in the veranda. Shall I call her sir? … Sir …..Sir….”.
Janaki sat down in the sofa. Amrutam calls him sir whereas she would say “….Yes ….okay …… It doesn’t take long ….. It’ll be done in half-an-hour…..”.

For one hour both the ladies would slog in the kitchen and when everything was almost finished, she would go and hurriedly take a bath. She would wear a good saree and get dressed up too well to cover up all her tiredness. Rao would get down from the car majestically along with his friends. Then in the drawing room there would be an outburst of laughter. Spoons and plates would clatter. She would serve them food smiling beautifully. The party would come to a climax with dirty jokes and comments up to a limit. She would get up and walk away with a smile as if she didn’t hear anything. Did she every say, “Don’t ever indulge in dirty talk about women”. Amrutam, in the meanwhile would get exhausted by supplying more and more dishes and by washing them. After what would scam to be an eternity… when the party came to an end, Rao while stretching his hands would say ‘I am tired dear’ and enter the bed room with heavy steps and stretch himself out on the bed. At times he would go overboard and would call her ‘come here dear’ and would get ready to have sex with her with that horrid smelling body. But all this never troubled her …. No…. She made herself rather believe that way. ‘Does comfort or convenience kill the power of thought of a person in this manner?’

‘Madam, we ran out of tea powder. Shall I go and get it?’ asked Amrutam.

Janaki nodded her permission mechanically. Amrutam went out of the gate. Amrutam’s three-year old son was playing in the garden. He would always keep on talking all by himself. He was standing by the compound wall opposite Janaki and was arranging on the wall the colourful stones he had in his hand in a row. When he noticed his mother going out he stretched his hands in her direction and was about to cry. But he did not when he saw that she had already left. When he saw that Janaki was looking at him he showed her the stones he had in his hand and wanted to give them to her. Janaki smiled. She shook her head to tell him that she did not want them. The stones he was arranging on the wall were slipping and falling down as the wall was very smooth. He had an endless patience. He was bending on his knees, picking them up and arranging them again and again.

‘Janaki madam…. Amrutam is dead…’ Standing outside the gate screamed the shopkeeper who owned a small shop down the lane. Janaki got up with a startle and ran out. People were crowded at the end of the lane. It was said that when Amrutam was crossing the road a car came without any honking and knocked her down. Amrutam, who had been working in the kitchen a few minutes ago, was lying dead on the road. Her skull was broken and the red blood was flowing on the road. Janaki could not control herself.

‘Can you give me Mr. Rao’s phone number?’ asked the shopkeeper. With eyes that became dim with tears Janaki was staring at Amrutam – ‘Amrutam who lived with her for six years; Amrutam who had high hopes for her son. When Rao scolded her once that her son was roaming freely all over the house and dirtying it and snatching away biscuits and toys from Chinnatalli’s hand, Amrutam lowered her head and remained silent. After that she never allowed her son to come beyond the front verandah. She would let him play in the garden and look after him with utmost care. It was her self-respect that her son should not be scolded by anyone. She had the caliber to budget her income carefully. She was too good that she never detested her husband for not looking after her. Though he was the one who would go quite frequently out of town for months together, she used to worry about him. Now her lifeless body lies here – ’ Janaki returned home with a heavy heart. Amrutam’s son was still arranging the stones in a row.

What would happen to this kid? How would his father, who never cared for them even when his mother was alive, look after him? Within ten minutes Rao arrived. Everything was arranged over the phone. What else, Rao was highly competent. By the evening Amrutam’s husband came. Standing across the verandah he spoke very softly to Rao who was sitting in a sofa. Rao gave him some money. While closing the door after he had left Rao noticed Amrutam’s son sleeping by the wall.

‘What is this? Why is he here?’

‘He did not recognise his father. He was scared when his father called him’ replied Janaki. It was true. He had seen only Rao and Rao’s friends who would resemble him. He was really taken a back when he saw his father. Amrutam was working until the day before his birth. When the labour pains started, taking the money given by Janaki, Amrutam went to the government hospital in a cycle-rickshaw all by herself. There she went on crying the whole night with pain without anyone to comfort her or to hold her hand with sympathy. In contrast, when Janaki was in labour her mother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law and other relatives were there with her. Amrutam took good care of Janaki. She would tremble whenever Janaki’s face was contorted with pain. When Chinnatalli was born she looked after her with great care. She would not have shown her own son a fraction of the affection she showed Chinnatalli. Everyone, including Rao had seen the little kid with his faltering steps walk behind his mother who was always busy attending to Chinnatalli. Amrutam used to get her hut redone whenever her husband returned from his long tours and would show all concern for him. But still she never left the household work to Janaki. She used to shuttle between her husband and Janaki’s kitchen. Rao had no knowledge about all this.

‘So, what do you want to say? Do you want to adapt him?’

- Why all this talk? It’s not even two hours since Amrutam died. Is this the time to talk about the kid? –

Rao, who was very resourceful, had sent his office attendant half-an-hour ago for a maid and got one already. She was there tidying up the house.

Janaki was not given a chance to speak. Rao told Janaki that she should maintain her dignity. He further said that he couldnot imagine his wife giving a bath and feeding the food to a maid’s son. He went back to the verandah and sent word to the shopkeeper. He was the one who brought Amritam to their house. He introduced her as a good woman whose husband was not in a position to provide for her as his earnings were not enough even to meet his own personal expenditure. Amrutam who had come that day departed now this way….

It seemed that the shopkeeper had already left closing the shop. Rao got up and while coming in gave her a strict warning – ‘Tomorrow morning this kid must leave this place for good’.

Janaki turned off the lights and sat on the floor by the wall in the same room where Amrutam’s son, Bangaru, was fast asleep. He looked tired. Had Amrutam been alive she would have given him a bath making him stand in the garden itself. She would have helped him to put on a clean shirt. She would have chatted with him to sleep. Today there was no such thing. As usual, he played in the garden as long as he could. When it was getting dark he came to the verandah where Chinnatalli was playing. He sat there with a thumb in the mouth. When Janaki had given him some rice mixed with a vegetable to eat, he looked for his mother in every direction. When he did not find her he ate a little by himself smearing it all over his body. Even then did she bother to get up and feed the food to him like how Amrutam would to Chinnatalli? No, nothing of that sort. She gave him a glass of milk thinking that he was not full. He had that milk and slept by the wall after tossing and turning for a long time. His mother’s disappearance did not disturb him much as she would always be busy with her work and would go to him only late at night.

Rao asked for water. He could as well go and get it himself. But she must go and get it for him however busy she was. It would seem that it was Janaki’s right to serve him. He noticed that Janaki was still awake thinking about Amrutam’s son.

‘How many things can I do? I got the body removed within an hour. You have taken upon yourself the responsibility of this kid. Your mind is rusting as it has no work’, he said.

The tumbler in Janaki’s hands was shaken a little.

That was the reward he gave for all her service and devotion.

Amrutam’s son rolled over while talking in his sleep. The blanket got displaced. His tiny tummy could be seen.

“He will play with Chinnatalli. How much food does he need?…. Why don’t you allow him to live with us….” Said Janaki.

Rao turned back.

“Have you gone mad? Don’t entertain such foolish thoughts. Keep shut and sleep….” he shouted at her.

Janaki realised that she had had no chance to say ‘no’ or ‘nothing doing’ to him. What was her role in that house? She understood at that moment that how her life had slipped out of her hands. She lulled her conscience into believing that education was for knowledge. Had she ever thought of standing on her own feet, economic independence and things like that? Perhaps she had deep within herself a parasitic instinct. Perhaps she was lazy by nature and wanted to live freely, without any need to work hard. Rao and she did not discuss the matter in order to take a decision. They both did not decide as to what should be done with the kid. Did she ever get a chance to suggest that how it would be if he was admitted in an orphanage. Just lilke Amrutam she listened to him. That was all. Her role was limited to that….. She started recollecting each day of her life during the past ten years. Hadn’t she seen how Rao had struggled for his career? Did she ever think of herself? Did she ever think that her education should be useful both to herself and the people around her? How she had degraded herself after entering this house as a wife?….. Did she prove that she was equal to Rao in every respect? She herself did not have a strong desire to have an independent life of her own. It was clear to Janaki what she had lost. There was nothing that she did. Even when Rao cracked jokes about other women she felt that she was great and large hearted. That was all. She laughed at herself. If only she had realised the importance of her degree certificates …… If only she remained equal to Rao in this house, she wouldn’t have an occasion to experience all the agony of the present. Janaki again looked at the kid who was fast asleep. He was lying there with his legs stretched freely. Couldn’t she do anything to the sleeping kid? Janaki smiled. At the moment, she too was in the same plight as that fellow. If only she could learn to walk slowly without falling down like him she would gradually pick up speed and run. In her very faltering steps he too would step. Who could stop anything once it gets underway?

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